I rarely ever title things with one word. Out of the 60+ poems I have written, I do not recall many of them having a one-word title. Why? Because I feel at times that a title like that makes the piece more common and if something more profound, more popular is written, that will be the piece that gets remembered when someone mentions that heading. But after the things I've gone through in the last few years, after I've written time after time on how much people matter, I believe the above inscription says enough for what I'm about to place here.
I have written over and over how much people matter not only in my life, but everyone else's too. The one thing I never really brought forth is that even when you invest yourself into the pride and joy of God's creation, they don't come without a price. And when your love for people comes from the very Love that gave you life, your burden grows greater.
Let me explain. I used to be selfish. As a kid it would be apparent at times, but as a teenager my calamity would be a silent killer. You wouldn't see this filth unless I was truly having a bad day. What you couldn't see was that if certain things needed done, but no specific person was asked to do them, you wouldn't see my hand go up or my mouth open. I would avoid homeless people because quite honestly they scared me, but I also didn't want to give them any money for fear it would go to waste. If someone I knew was going through something because of someone else I did not know, only if I was reached out to would I respond and then forget about it because it didn't necessarily concern me. Granted, this was not always the case, but happened far too often.
Why did I just expose a part of my past for the world to see that isn't so great? Because I needed to create a foundation to build what I'm about to say next. Ever since the Lord burned that selfishness from me and taught me how to care, I didn't realize the weight it would put on me. Growing up in the church life, I've had many different people who served me throughout the years. However, not many remain. There are a number of reasons they walked away from the church and the Lord, but the fact of the matter is that they were crucial to my growth, set a pattern for me to follow, and now, to them, all that was waste. I haven't seen some of them since high school, but I still recall the times they served me and still know their whole name even though I was a kid and haven't seen them in 10-12 years. Yet they still seem to remain on my heart and in my prayers in hopes they would one day return.
Another thing that comes with the church life is you meet many different types of people who are now your spiritual family through our one Father God who made us all. Because Christ cares for His church, so should I. And with the way technology and social media has allowed us to be uber connected (maybe more than we'd like sometimes), we see everything in an instant. I see people in the church who I'm not super close with lose loved ones, get divorced, have break-ups, get life threatening illnesses and all I can say is that when I see that it hurts me because you are hurting. It hurts even more when I know there's almost nothing I can do to help other than pray. Because I at least call you a friend means that if you are hurt, I care. I really do.
When you care, people notice. This makes you more prone to being asked for help or other matters brought to your attention that wouldn't have been otherwise. In these past few years, I've had some worst fears come true. I've also had things asked of me that wouldn't have been if I did not have a friendship with the people I do. Recently I had one of those experiences and even though outwardly I didn't show it, on the inside I was rattled. I had way too much on my mind and this event that occurred left me in a state of assuming the worst. Thankfully it turned out okay (the power of prayer!) but if it didn't...I don't know.
I never signed up for this. But then again I've caused things in my life that others never signed up for. This is what caring truly is. You cannot make it through life without people. Every person who enters your life adds/shapes your journey. The sad or fortunate (depending on who) thing is that not all were meant to stay in your life forever. That's why one must make the most of the time they have with those they love, show kindness and hope to the unkind and hopeless, and when that new-found burden is about to crush you, look to Christ to be the strength.
I know not all of you will see this, but in the hopes that some of you do, know this. If you have served me, been a peer, or I have served you and the church/Lord are no longer part of your life. I still think about you. I still pray for you. I still hope that you will come back. I can wait. Years in our time is peanuts to the time Christ has had to wait for His bride to be ready. I care about you.
