For some strange reason, a couple days ago, a certain saying crossed my mind that I always dreaded to hear and despised it when I eventually heard it. "You'll make new friends." As an elementary school aged child, I was happy with where I was and the small cluster of friends I had. But that saying meant I had to leave the other ones behind. That was what I hated the most. The fact that people I was growing up with, people who made my life that much better, I had to say good-bye because I was being relocated against my will. That saying was a thorn in my side.
That saying should be doubled in length with these words: "You'll make new friends, but don't ever let the old ones go." There was a point in my life when friends were there for my benefit and my entertainment. Granted, I loved them dearly, but at that young of an age, my selfish ambitions came out and I didn't necessarily always treasure what I had (til it was gone).
One of the reasons I believe the Lord has blessed me with the memory that I have is because of the heart for people He eventually gave me. Those moments I share with those around me, I relive them time and time again and it's almost as if I'm actually in those moments. I'm writing about this because I'm graduating in a year...hopefully, and I want you to know how much you mean to me. Throughout my life, I've watched as friends faded, as their lives became excruciatingly busy, as they gained and left significant others while my time with them dwindled. When I moved, I didn't lose contact with most of my old friends, but we grew up and lived different lives. It wasn't until a gospel trip back to PA in 2012 that I began to long to reconnect with many of those friends.
I have the worst habit of letting worst-case-scenario thoughts enter my mind. Normally, they don't amount to much, but one became very real for me in 2014. I've told this story before, but it helps that I mention it again. Back in 2012, I tried so hard to reconnect with a childhood friend. The big reason is because I had seen her briefly nine months before, became friends on Facebook, and saw her amazing life and I wanted to meet her all over again. I hadn't forgot about her and thought about her over the years since I moved. She was a huge part of my childhood and I loathed missing out on the teen and college years. Long story short, my last attempt to reconnect failed due to busy lives. Then in the summer of 2014, I received news that she had unexpectedly passed on in her sleep. It was later determined to be an incurable heart problem that neither she nor her family knew she had. My fear was that I would lose touch with someone and then never get a chance to be a part of their life, let alone speak with them again. I can't tell you how much that moment in my life stays with me. A worst fear realized.
I've written about all this many times, but it's been running through me and I can't reiterate it enough. Anyone who is a part of your life that you consider a friend, no matter when they bug you, make you angry, don't see things the same way you do, lose touch, etc, don't let them go. Cherish every moment you have with them. Make every moment count. Let them know how much you care. Fight for the time you have with them. And I'm not talking about just those of the same gender as you. I talking about every single person you call a friend. Even the ones who were friends of friends that became your friend. Those who you became friends with and their family also became your friend. It wasn't by chance or fate that your friends are in your life. The Lord and God of this universe knows exactly what and who you need in your life.
I'm also going to let you in on a secret...what makes me happy aside from Christ? The people in my life. And no amount of money could ever change that. If someone said "if you move to this foreign country and work here, we'll double or triple your salary," or "we'll pay you a great deal more to work holidays and weekends." I wouldn't even blink an eye and turn those offers down in a heart beat. Even if you threw out the offer of a million dollars for an entire month of my life...nope. The only amount of money I care about it what I need to pay bills, eat food, wear clothes, eventually provide for a family, and enjoy life with friends. An extra I consider worthless. Time with the people that mean the most to me is worth more than all the money in the world. If someone told me that I could have the friends I've lost back by giving up everything I owned...you wouldn't need to tell me twice. Since I've come of age where I have bills, loans, and other things that need paid for, I've never felt a lack because my Lord has provided time and time again. Even when I screw up to the point I don't deserve anything He gives me, He only gives more. It's that kind of love that I in return feel for you. I've judged people too quickly and let that come between me and them (whether they knew it or not), but once I let that go, those people became so much more to me.
This is a life lesson I will live by until the day I die; "Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will."I don't know who will read this but this is what's flowing through me and this is my heart. Because as you can see, even though I hardly show it, the sting of loss is so real and the every day things people live for and partake in mean absolutely nothing when they abuse them or spend more time them then with those that matter most.When searching for a job, place to live, or anything else that one must do in life, make sure it doesn't supersede those you love.
