August 22, 2015 marked the twelfth year I have resided in the O-H-I-O state. Why is that of any significance? Because it surpasses the number of years (11.25) that I lived in southern-central Pennsylvania. That's an exceptional milestone. If you recall my past blog posts, they mention how it took me nearly three of those 12 years to accept that my move to Ohio wasn't temporary. As each of those first three years ended, I would announce in the young people's meetings that we would be staying another year. Each of those was met with cheers and it made me feel good, but I never had complete comfort, because I was still hoping to go back to what I knew as home.
I haven't made any such announcement since 2006, but this year I wanted to and in a special way, but the opportunity never really presented itself. So, during a young adult bible study that I attend, there was a new guy who came. We were making casual conversation and he asked how we all knew each other. Mark mentioned that we all meet at the same church, but he made distinction that some grew up together and some came in from other places. I then took that opportunity to announce that this year marked the twelfth year we've lived in Ohio, but right before I could make the note of why twelve years was important, a "we win?" came from Hannah, knowing what I was about to say. I then explained that twelve years meant we lived longer in Ohio then Pennsylvania and another "We win!" was to be heard. Even though this wasn't the way I wanted to make this announcement, it felt really good because I was surrounded by people very near and dear to my heart and I have long been at peace to call Ohio home.
Since I never got the chance to say this how I really wanted to, I'll do it here in the next couple of paragraphs or so and who knows, 2015 hasn't been extinguished yet so maybe there'll be a live version.
Twelve years is a long time. But when you reach the age that I have, 12 years doesn't seem that long ago. Besides that milestone, I hit another. I turned 25 this year. A quarter of a century. Some people see that as just another year, but for me it hits closer because I've lost some friends who didn't reach this age. These milestones weren't easy to reach, but they weren't done alone. The Lord put a fantastic group of people in my life. These people shared in the highs and the lows, the nights we'll remember forever and a few we'd want to forget. But one thing is for sure. It doesn't matter if we're from different blood or united in Christ. Dominic Toretto emphasized this the best about those around him. "You're family." This is not limited to those in Cleveland, but those I've come to know well all over the USA since I came out here. In all honesty, that's the truth and I wouldn't trade it for the world. As we say goodbye to 2015 and I enter year 13 in 2016, here's to the past twelve and looking forward to the next twelve with you all. Family.
Monday, December 21, 2015
Monday, November 2, 2015
Life Wisdom and Hacks
Twenty-five years is a long time to have lived, but still so young. With this new age came a thought and when one of those creeps into my head, words fall onto a page. And when words fall onto a page, they are no longer prisoners of my mind, but on a one-way ticket to the eyes of the world.
In case you didn't know this about me (and I'll bring it up again down the road when my ancient mind ceases to recall what it put forth before), I love lists. I love reading them and making them, unless it's a to-do list. They can burn...now where's my lighter? Just kidding. In my list journey, I came across two spectacular lists on life wisdom. Upon reading these, I couldn't believe how much they resonated in me. Granted there were some I disagreed with or brushed off, but the amount that hit home was staggering. You can read them here:
http://kangalex.com/post/31729006624/45-life-lessons-written-by-a-90-year-old?sthash.1J93Madi.tupo
http://media-cache-ak3.pinimg.com/736x/51/92/7a/51927adf0874a6047200d650f2aacb3e.jpg (make sure you zoom in on this one)
Back to the thought that crept into my head. I'm 25. A quarter-of-a-century. In the eyes of a child...old. But in the eyes of those much more experienced in years, brutally young. So in theory I should have a lot of life left, but in reality, life isn't like that. Life has no perspective on age. It can end after decades or even a century, or can be gone in an instant, as portrayed by the amount of mass shootings in this country or the every day bombings and terrorist activity that ends thousands yearly. Truth is, I don't know when this life will end for me, but I figure that I should begin making a list of life tips and wisdom that I've learned in my many, or few depending on your side of the coin, years on this earth. You obviously don't have to agree with all or even any for that matter, but these things have made my life on this earth better and it is my joy to share them with you all.
There are two types of items that will appear on this list:
Life Hacks: Things you can do to make life easier, more comfortable, or fun!
Wisdom: <----This says it all
I'll let you be the judge of which is which.
1) If you cancel Netflix or Huluplus, don't unsubscribe from their emails because they don't send you many and once a year (on average) they'll give you free trials to try to sway you to come back. I see it as a free month of entertainment.
2) Thank those who serve you. A waiter, bus driver, librarian, etc. A thank you goes a long way. Always thank your librarian.
3) Whether you support them not, always respect a man or woman in a military uniform. Always.
4) Donate lightly used or brand new unwanted clothing (unless you are tight on money). There are many people less fortunate and clothes are always needed. Even if it is a designer brand. Imagine the person who get's to feel special for once in their life because you made that choice.
5) Good things come to he who waits, but laziness leads to ruin. Be patient for the finer things in life, but don't slack off and hope they'll plop into your lap. Earn them.
6) A pocket knife has many uses, one of them being a fingernail cleaner.
7) What the USA stands for and the government that runs her are two entirely different things. Never compare the two.
8) Be proud of your freedom, but never ever abuse it.
9) On a clear night, go out and gaze at the stars for awhile. Take in the awe of the vastness of the universe. You'll be glad you did.
10) If a little kid wants to play, give them a few minutes. If they acknowledge you, do so back in an excited manner. Give them attention. It'll effect their lives now and in the future more ways then you know.
11) Do you A) Like texting? B) Like driving? C) Like being a law abiding citizen and/or living? Don't mix A and B ever and you should have no problem with C.
12) If you are someone who constantly checks the time, buy a watch. It's less cumbersome than digging a phone out of your pocket and it adds style.
13) Ever wonder how much you truly care about someone? Write a eulogy for them as if you had to present it at their funeral, but replace the "was" with "is".
14) Take risks. You won't succeed in all, but the ones you do mean so much more than the ones you don't. Life is too short to always play it safe.
15) The imagination is a terrible thing to waste. Unchain it. Let it run free. You never know where it might take you.
16) Extremely ticklish? Hate being tickled? Every time someone tries, try to hold it in and not react. After a long time, you'll be hard to tickle. I haven't been ticklish since the age of ten.
17) Thank you notes and phone calls carry more meaning than a text or FB message.
18) Smiles are free, don't save them.
19) A grudge is a deadly poison. Step aside, cool off, make amends, and let it go. It could destroy a relationship or you.
20) Always look both ways. Whether in a car, on a bike, or on foot. Sometimes check twice.
21) Always expect the worst from other drivers. The best driving is defensive driving. It'll save you $$.
22) Keyboard shortcuts are time and life savers. Build and arsenal of them and use them liberally.
23) Build a fire on a beach at sunset and keep it going until after 12:00am. The experience will do wonders.
24) Spend a little more on things that keep you healthy, happy, and honest. You want them to last.
25) Try God. Take a leap of faith and try Jesus. You may be surprised at what you find.
In case you didn't know this about me (and I'll bring it up again down the road when my ancient mind ceases to recall what it put forth before), I love lists. I love reading them and making them, unless it's a to-do list. They can burn...now where's my lighter? Just kidding. In my list journey, I came across two spectacular lists on life wisdom. Upon reading these, I couldn't believe how much they resonated in me. Granted there were some I disagreed with or brushed off, but the amount that hit home was staggering. You can read them here:
http://kangalex.com/post/31729006624/45-life-lessons-written-by-a-90-year-old?sthash.1J93Madi.tupo
http://media-cache-ak3.pinimg.com/736x/51/92/7a/51927adf0874a6047200d650f2aacb3e.jpg (make sure you zoom in on this one)
Back to the thought that crept into my head. I'm 25. A quarter-of-a-century. In the eyes of a child...old. But in the eyes of those much more experienced in years, brutally young. So in theory I should have a lot of life left, but in reality, life isn't like that. Life has no perspective on age. It can end after decades or even a century, or can be gone in an instant, as portrayed by the amount of mass shootings in this country or the every day bombings and terrorist activity that ends thousands yearly. Truth is, I don't know when this life will end for me, but I figure that I should begin making a list of life tips and wisdom that I've learned in my many, or few depending on your side of the coin, years on this earth. You obviously don't have to agree with all or even any for that matter, but these things have made my life on this earth better and it is my joy to share them with you all.
There are two types of items that will appear on this list:
Life Hacks: Things you can do to make life easier, more comfortable, or fun!
Wisdom: <----This says it all
I'll let you be the judge of which is which.
1) If you cancel Netflix or Huluplus, don't unsubscribe from their emails because they don't send you many and once a year (on average) they'll give you free trials to try to sway you to come back. I see it as a free month of entertainment.
2) Thank those who serve you. A waiter, bus driver, librarian, etc. A thank you goes a long way. Always thank your librarian.
3) Whether you support them not, always respect a man or woman in a military uniform. Always.
4) Donate lightly used or brand new unwanted clothing (unless you are tight on money). There are many people less fortunate and clothes are always needed. Even if it is a designer brand. Imagine the person who get's to feel special for once in their life because you made that choice.
5) Good things come to he who waits, but laziness leads to ruin. Be patient for the finer things in life, but don't slack off and hope they'll plop into your lap. Earn them.
6) A pocket knife has many uses, one of them being a fingernail cleaner.
7) What the USA stands for and the government that runs her are two entirely different things. Never compare the two.
8) Be proud of your freedom, but never ever abuse it.
9) On a clear night, go out and gaze at the stars for awhile. Take in the awe of the vastness of the universe. You'll be glad you did.
10) If a little kid wants to play, give them a few minutes. If they acknowledge you, do so back in an excited manner. Give them attention. It'll effect their lives now and in the future more ways then you know.
11) Do you A) Like texting? B) Like driving? C) Like being a law abiding citizen and/or living? Don't mix A and B ever and you should have no problem with C.
12) If you are someone who constantly checks the time, buy a watch. It's less cumbersome than digging a phone out of your pocket and it adds style.
13) Ever wonder how much you truly care about someone? Write a eulogy for them as if you had to present it at their funeral, but replace the "was" with "is".
14) Take risks. You won't succeed in all, but the ones you do mean so much more than the ones you don't. Life is too short to always play it safe.
15) The imagination is a terrible thing to waste. Unchain it. Let it run free. You never know where it might take you.
16) Extremely ticklish? Hate being tickled? Every time someone tries, try to hold it in and not react. After a long time, you'll be hard to tickle. I haven't been ticklish since the age of ten.
17) Thank you notes and phone calls carry more meaning than a text or FB message.
18) Smiles are free, don't save them.
19) A grudge is a deadly poison. Step aside, cool off, make amends, and let it go. It could destroy a relationship or you.
20) Always look both ways. Whether in a car, on a bike, or on foot. Sometimes check twice.
21) Always expect the worst from other drivers. The best driving is defensive driving. It'll save you $$.
22) Keyboard shortcuts are time and life savers. Build and arsenal of them and use them liberally.
23) Build a fire on a beach at sunset and keep it going until after 12:00am. The experience will do wonders.
24) Spend a little more on things that keep you healthy, happy, and honest. You want them to last.
25) Try God. Take a leap of faith and try Jesus. You may be surprised at what you find.
Monday, October 12, 2015
People
I rarely ever title things with one word. Out of the 60+ poems I have written, I do not recall many of them having a one-word title. Why? Because I feel at times that a title like that makes the piece more common and if something more profound, more popular is written, that will be the piece that gets remembered when someone mentions that heading. But after the things I've gone through in the last few years, after I've written time after time on how much people matter, I believe the above inscription says enough for what I'm about to place here.
I have written over and over how much people matter not only in my life, but everyone else's too. The one thing I never really brought forth is that even when you invest yourself into the pride and joy of God's creation, they don't come without a price. And when your love for people comes from the very Love that gave you life, your burden grows greater.
Let me explain. I used to be selfish. As a kid it would be apparent at times, but as a teenager my calamity would be a silent killer. You wouldn't see this filth unless I was truly having a bad day. What you couldn't see was that if certain things needed done, but no specific person was asked to do them, you wouldn't see my hand go up or my mouth open. I would avoid homeless people because quite honestly they scared me, but I also didn't want to give them any money for fear it would go to waste. If someone I knew was going through something because of someone else I did not know, only if I was reached out to would I respond and then forget about it because it didn't necessarily concern me. Granted, this was not always the case, but happened far too often.
Why did I just expose a part of my past for the world to see that isn't so great? Because I needed to create a foundation to build what I'm about to say next. Ever since the Lord burned that selfishness from me and taught me how to care, I didn't realize the weight it would put on me. Growing up in the church life, I've had many different people who served me throughout the years. However, not many remain. There are a number of reasons they walked away from the church and the Lord, but the fact of the matter is that they were crucial to my growth, set a pattern for me to follow, and now, to them, all that was waste. I haven't seen some of them since high school, but I still recall the times they served me and still know their whole name even though I was a kid and haven't seen them in 10-12 years. Yet they still seem to remain on my heart and in my prayers in hopes they would one day return.
Another thing that comes with the church life is you meet many different types of people who are now your spiritual family through our one Father God who made us all. Because Christ cares for His church, so should I. And with the way technology and social media has allowed us to be uber connected (maybe more than we'd like sometimes), we see everything in an instant. I see people in the church who I'm not super close with lose loved ones, get divorced, have break-ups, get life threatening illnesses and all I can say is that when I see that it hurts me because you are hurting. It hurts even more when I know there's almost nothing I can do to help other than pray. Because I at least call you a friend means that if you are hurt, I care. I really do.
When you care, people notice. This makes you more prone to being asked for help or other matters brought to your attention that wouldn't have been otherwise. In these past few years, I've had some worst fears come true. I've also had things asked of me that wouldn't have been if I did not have a friendship with the people I do. Recently I had one of those experiences and even though outwardly I didn't show it, on the inside I was rattled. I had way too much on my mind and this event that occurred left me in a state of assuming the worst. Thankfully it turned out okay (the power of prayer!) but if it didn't...I don't know.
I never signed up for this. But then again I've caused things in my life that others never signed up for. This is what caring truly is. You cannot make it through life without people. Every person who enters your life adds/shapes your journey. The sad or fortunate (depending on who) thing is that not all were meant to stay in your life forever. That's why one must make the most of the time they have with those they love, show kindness and hope to the unkind and hopeless, and when that new-found burden is about to crush you, look to Christ to be the strength.
I know not all of you will see this, but in the hopes that some of you do, know this. If you have served me, been a peer, or I have served you and the church/Lord are no longer part of your life. I still think about you. I still pray for you. I still hope that you will come back. I can wait. Years in our time is peanuts to the time Christ has had to wait for His bride to be ready. I care about you.
I have written over and over how much people matter not only in my life, but everyone else's too. The one thing I never really brought forth is that even when you invest yourself into the pride and joy of God's creation, they don't come without a price. And when your love for people comes from the very Love that gave you life, your burden grows greater.
Let me explain. I used to be selfish. As a kid it would be apparent at times, but as a teenager my calamity would be a silent killer. You wouldn't see this filth unless I was truly having a bad day. What you couldn't see was that if certain things needed done, but no specific person was asked to do them, you wouldn't see my hand go up or my mouth open. I would avoid homeless people because quite honestly they scared me, but I also didn't want to give them any money for fear it would go to waste. If someone I knew was going through something because of someone else I did not know, only if I was reached out to would I respond and then forget about it because it didn't necessarily concern me. Granted, this was not always the case, but happened far too often.
Why did I just expose a part of my past for the world to see that isn't so great? Because I needed to create a foundation to build what I'm about to say next. Ever since the Lord burned that selfishness from me and taught me how to care, I didn't realize the weight it would put on me. Growing up in the church life, I've had many different people who served me throughout the years. However, not many remain. There are a number of reasons they walked away from the church and the Lord, but the fact of the matter is that they were crucial to my growth, set a pattern for me to follow, and now, to them, all that was waste. I haven't seen some of them since high school, but I still recall the times they served me and still know their whole name even though I was a kid and haven't seen them in 10-12 years. Yet they still seem to remain on my heart and in my prayers in hopes they would one day return.
Another thing that comes with the church life is you meet many different types of people who are now your spiritual family through our one Father God who made us all. Because Christ cares for His church, so should I. And with the way technology and social media has allowed us to be uber connected (maybe more than we'd like sometimes), we see everything in an instant. I see people in the church who I'm not super close with lose loved ones, get divorced, have break-ups, get life threatening illnesses and all I can say is that when I see that it hurts me because you are hurting. It hurts even more when I know there's almost nothing I can do to help other than pray. Because I at least call you a friend means that if you are hurt, I care. I really do.
When you care, people notice. This makes you more prone to being asked for help or other matters brought to your attention that wouldn't have been otherwise. In these past few years, I've had some worst fears come true. I've also had things asked of me that wouldn't have been if I did not have a friendship with the people I do. Recently I had one of those experiences and even though outwardly I didn't show it, on the inside I was rattled. I had way too much on my mind and this event that occurred left me in a state of assuming the worst. Thankfully it turned out okay (the power of prayer!) but if it didn't...I don't know.
I never signed up for this. But then again I've caused things in my life that others never signed up for. This is what caring truly is. You cannot make it through life without people. Every person who enters your life adds/shapes your journey. The sad or fortunate (depending on who) thing is that not all were meant to stay in your life forever. That's why one must make the most of the time they have with those they love, show kindness and hope to the unkind and hopeless, and when that new-found burden is about to crush you, look to Christ to be the strength.
I know not all of you will see this, but in the hopes that some of you do, know this. If you have served me, been a peer, or I have served you and the church/Lord are no longer part of your life. I still think about you. I still pray for you. I still hope that you will come back. I can wait. Years in our time is peanuts to the time Christ has had to wait for His bride to be ready. I care about you.
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Inspiration and Dreams
Do you ever have a song or two that you like to listen to, can sing every word, but have never truly paid attention to the lyrics? This happens to me from time to time. The other day I was listening to Kenny Chesney's "El Cerrito Place". I really like this song because it one of many of his songs that hits me where I'm at. The song is about him searching for his love, whoever she may be. He has a vast array of "pretty people" to choose from in El Cerrito Place, but she isn't them. He searches for her in magical, but real places, places that bring him to his happy place. The lyrics that really struck a cord in me was the second verse:
"Someone said they might have seen you where the ocean meets the land
So I've been out here all night lookin' for your footprints in the sandDid you hear the ocean singing, baby did you sing alongWhile you danced out in the water to some ol' forgotten song,Were you even here at all?"
He's on the coast, his island paradise. The imagery in this verse is spectacular. Why it get's me is because the islands are one of many places I want to visit, a dream of a coastal paradise. Then, the other part is that he's searching for his love, whomever that may be. In the same way, being single, it's almost like I'm on a similar adventure. Enjoying life as it comes, wondering who that person will be, and who knows, maybe I'll find her in these places.
But the real inspiration behind this post is the poem I was inspired to write based on this verse. It all came to me at once and I wrote it in less than ten minutes. Now that I've given you the background, here is my latest piece hot off the presses...er hard drive.
"Someone said they might have seen you where the ocean meets the land
So I've been out here all night lookin' for your footprints in the sandDid you hear the ocean singing, baby did you sing alongWhile you danced out in the water to some ol' forgotten song,Were you even here at all?"
He's on the coast, his island paradise. The imagery in this verse is spectacular. Why it get's me is because the islands are one of many places I want to visit, a dream of a coastal paradise. Then, the other part is that he's searching for his love, whomever that may be. In the same way, being single, it's almost like I'm on a similar adventure. Enjoying life as it comes, wondering who that person will be, and who knows, maybe I'll find her in these places.
But the real inspiration behind this post is the poem I was inspired to write based on this verse. It all came to me at once and I wrote it in less than ten minutes. Now that I've given you the background, here is my latest piece hot off the presses...er hard drive.
Where Are You My Love?
By Josh Watkins
Where are you my love?
Why do you elude me so?
What must I do to unmask you mystery?
Who are you really?
Some said they have seen you,
on Mt. Everest’s peak.
So I packed my bags
and headed westward.
I endured the blinding snow,
the dwindling strength,
the diminishing breath,
but I found you not.
Some said they saw you,
at the lake of the great fall’s leap.
So I swam the ocean towards the setting sun,
hoping to see your silhouette.
I cut through jungle,
and prolonged the monkey’s laugh,
Crossed treacherous terrain,
and gained love’s scars.
I reached the magical waters,
and bathed in their welcoming wash,
But my heart sank beneath their depths,
seeing no trace of your beauty.
Some said they gazed upon you,
at freedom’s highest flame.
So I ran,
carrying love’s weight.
I saw the flame,
and basked in her message.
I gazed upon the ash, tears, broken dreams
and saw the phoenix rising.
Then after all my wandering,
chasing, searching, I gained a thought.
Maybe in each place I’ve been,
i wasn’t chasing you,
You are chasing me.
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Musings of a Wanderer
For those of you who couldn't tell by the explosion of photos or facebook, I went back to Pennsylvania for our annual family vacation. The only difference is that we go to Wisconsin one year (my mom's side of the family) and PA the next (Dad's side). Whenever I go back to PA, the nostalgia kicks in hard. Seeing the towns I grew up in or by. Remembering Saturday nights going out to eat with so many options on a stretch known as the Golden Mile, heading to Falloon's Fun Center afterwards for arcade games and prizes, then to Walmart to browse the toy aisles while the parents shopped, and that was only on a Saturday. I also dearly miss walking out my front door and seeing the Pigeon Hills in the distance, the two lane roads where the speed limit is 45-50 even with businesses and none of this 25mph junk. What makes driving more fun is all the hills as you go as well as the winding, twisting back roads where hardly a soul was to be found. I miss hearing country music everywhere I turn instead of overplayed mainstream blah. The lack of police, ambulance, and fire truck sirens was soothing to my ears. We walked into an ice cream shop that had a sign that said "We don't dial 911" and had a hand on a revolver and I thought "If I were a criminal, I'd think twice about trying to rob this place."
Even with all this longing comes realities. Every time I go back, the towns change. A handful of restaurants and entertainment complexes that brought good memories are gone and all this new pizzazz is magically there. The house that was a second home to me, was also at one point my actual home, and the place where the Church in New Oxford met on Sundays is no more. Well, the house is still there, but the new tenants haven't cared for it properly and the Church in New Oxford as I knew it no longer exists. When you live there, the change happens little by little and you adjust. But when you go away for awhile and come back to everything changed, it's like the child that grew up and didn't see his father until his adult years. It stings a little, but I also realize a child can't remain a child forever.
Going back this time, there were some things I knew I had to do. One was visit the Gettysburg Battlefield. My parents took me here often as a kid, but I never had the full appreciation of the history I was standing on. So this time, I wanted to experience it in that way. This photo says a lot about this trip and who I am.
Photo Credit: Sarah Watkins
I am standing on a boulder as far as I can go on Little Round Top. This was a massive hill that was under Union control, but was very weakly guarded. With the Confederates moving in, Union General Warren realized how crucial it was to defend this hill. He immediately reinforced and defended it, thus saving the Union from a near disaster. Over 150 years later, you can't tell from the naked eye that the bloodiest war in loss of American lives was fought here. The land has recovered and it is so breath-taking. You can see in the background the Pigeon Hills that I saw every day and how beautiful they look. The little history lesson aside, this photo says a lot about me. I was at the highest point and as far as I could go overlooking the wonder of God's creation before me. It depicts my desire for adventure, my will to go as high and far as I can until it is impossible for me to go any further. But here, is not the end. I am looking over a seemingly endless landscape, taking in the view, and thirsting to continue on into the wild blue yonder.
The second of the two things I had to do was go back to Hershey Park. If you haven't heard of it or have never been, it is an amusement park that lies in Hershey, PA. Hershey is the heart and soul of Hershey Bars, Reeses Cups, Twizzlers, and other well known candy brands associated with Hershey. I had been here eight or so times as a kid, but never had the guts to ride a roller coaster. To go back to Hershey park and ride all their major coasters was not only for the thrill of it, but also for me personally to close the book on the fears that robbed me of experiencing such a thrilling joy.
This trip seemed to fly by much faster than years past, and now that I've reached this age, I wish in some sense that time would slow down. Two years goes by quick, but a lot can happen/change within that time. Now that I've given my mind dump for the month, I will say this. Having this heavy nostalgia is one thing, but where I am now and the people who are in my life make up the joys of living each day.There's a saying from the movie Braveheart spoken by the main character William Wallace. "Every man dies, but not every man lives." If one were to live for material things or live for education and wealth, but not experience creation and the world around them, that isn't living. We can latch onto things that once brought us joy or keep to ourselves and never experience what living really is, or we can take that step into the unknown as well as make the most of the time we have with those around us. And remember, not all who wander are lost.
Even with all this longing comes realities. Every time I go back, the towns change. A handful of restaurants and entertainment complexes that brought good memories are gone and all this new pizzazz is magically there. The house that was a second home to me, was also at one point my actual home, and the place where the Church in New Oxford met on Sundays is no more. Well, the house is still there, but the new tenants haven't cared for it properly and the Church in New Oxford as I knew it no longer exists. When you live there, the change happens little by little and you adjust. But when you go away for awhile and come back to everything changed, it's like the child that grew up and didn't see his father until his adult years. It stings a little, but I also realize a child can't remain a child forever.
Going back this time, there were some things I knew I had to do. One was visit the Gettysburg Battlefield. My parents took me here often as a kid, but I never had the full appreciation of the history I was standing on. So this time, I wanted to experience it in that way. This photo says a lot about this trip and who I am.
Photo Credit: Sarah Watkins
I am standing on a boulder as far as I can go on Little Round Top. This was a massive hill that was under Union control, but was very weakly guarded. With the Confederates moving in, Union General Warren realized how crucial it was to defend this hill. He immediately reinforced and defended it, thus saving the Union from a near disaster. Over 150 years later, you can't tell from the naked eye that the bloodiest war in loss of American lives was fought here. The land has recovered and it is so breath-taking. You can see in the background the Pigeon Hills that I saw every day and how beautiful they look. The little history lesson aside, this photo says a lot about me. I was at the highest point and as far as I could go overlooking the wonder of God's creation before me. It depicts my desire for adventure, my will to go as high and far as I can until it is impossible for me to go any further. But here, is not the end. I am looking over a seemingly endless landscape, taking in the view, and thirsting to continue on into the wild blue yonder.
The second of the two things I had to do was go back to Hershey Park. If you haven't heard of it or have never been, it is an amusement park that lies in Hershey, PA. Hershey is the heart and soul of Hershey Bars, Reeses Cups, Twizzlers, and other well known candy brands associated with Hershey. I had been here eight or so times as a kid, but never had the guts to ride a roller coaster. To go back to Hershey park and ride all their major coasters was not only for the thrill of it, but also for me personally to close the book on the fears that robbed me of experiencing such a thrilling joy.
This trip seemed to fly by much faster than years past, and now that I've reached this age, I wish in some sense that time would slow down. Two years goes by quick, but a lot can happen/change within that time. Now that I've given my mind dump for the month, I will say this. Having this heavy nostalgia is one thing, but where I am now and the people who are in my life make up the joys of living each day.There's a saying from the movie Braveheart spoken by the main character William Wallace. "Every man dies, but not every man lives." If one were to live for material things or live for education and wealth, but not experience creation and the world around them, that isn't living. We can latch onto things that once brought us joy or keep to ourselves and never experience what living really is, or we can take that step into the unknown as well as make the most of the time we have with those around us. And remember, not all who wander are lost.
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Friends: Worth More Than All the Money in the World
For some strange reason, a couple days ago, a certain saying crossed my mind that I always dreaded to hear and despised it when I eventually heard it. "You'll make new friends." As an elementary school aged child, I was happy with where I was and the small cluster of friends I had. But that saying meant I had to leave the other ones behind. That was what I hated the most. The fact that people I was growing up with, people who made my life that much better, I had to say good-bye because I was being relocated against my will. That saying was a thorn in my side.
That saying should be doubled in length with these words: "You'll make new friends, but don't ever let the old ones go." There was a point in my life when friends were there for my benefit and my entertainment. Granted, I loved them dearly, but at that young of an age, my selfish ambitions came out and I didn't necessarily always treasure what I had (til it was gone).
One of the reasons I believe the Lord has blessed me with the memory that I have is because of the heart for people He eventually gave me. Those moments I share with those around me, I relive them time and time again and it's almost as if I'm actually in those moments. I'm writing about this because I'm graduating in a year...hopefully, and I want you to know how much you mean to me. Throughout my life, I've watched as friends faded, as their lives became excruciatingly busy, as they gained and left significant others while my time with them dwindled. When I moved, I didn't lose contact with most of my old friends, but we grew up and lived different lives. It wasn't until a gospel trip back to PA in 2012 that I began to long to reconnect with many of those friends.
I have the worst habit of letting worst-case-scenario thoughts enter my mind. Normally, they don't amount to much, but one became very real for me in 2014. I've told this story before, but it helps that I mention it again. Back in 2012, I tried so hard to reconnect with a childhood friend. The big reason is because I had seen her briefly nine months before, became friends on Facebook, and saw her amazing life and I wanted to meet her all over again. I hadn't forgot about her and thought about her over the years since I moved. She was a huge part of my childhood and I loathed missing out on the teen and college years. Long story short, my last attempt to reconnect failed due to busy lives. Then in the summer of 2014, I received news that she had unexpectedly passed on in her sleep. It was later determined to be an incurable heart problem that neither she nor her family knew she had. My fear was that I would lose touch with someone and then never get a chance to be a part of their life, let alone speak with them again. I can't tell you how much that moment in my life stays with me. A worst fear realized.
I've written about all this many times, but it's been running through me and I can't reiterate it enough. Anyone who is a part of your life that you consider a friend, no matter when they bug you, make you angry, don't see things the same way you do, lose touch, etc, don't let them go. Cherish every moment you have with them. Make every moment count. Let them know how much you care. Fight for the time you have with them. And I'm not talking about just those of the same gender as you. I talking about every single person you call a friend. Even the ones who were friends of friends that became your friend. Those who you became friends with and their family also became your friend. It wasn't by chance or fate that your friends are in your life. The Lord and God of this universe knows exactly what and who you need in your life.
I'm also going to let you in on a secret...what makes me happy aside from Christ? The people in my life. And no amount of money could ever change that. If someone said "if you move to this foreign country and work here, we'll double or triple your salary," or "we'll pay you a great deal more to work holidays and weekends." I wouldn't even blink an eye and turn those offers down in a heart beat. Even if you threw out the offer of a million dollars for an entire month of my life...nope. The only amount of money I care about it what I need to pay bills, eat food, wear clothes, eventually provide for a family, and enjoy life with friends. An extra I consider worthless. Time with the people that mean the most to me is worth more than all the money in the world. If someone told me that I could have the friends I've lost back by giving up everything I owned...you wouldn't need to tell me twice. Since I've come of age where I have bills, loans, and other things that need paid for, I've never felt a lack because my Lord has provided time and time again. Even when I screw up to the point I don't deserve anything He gives me, He only gives more. It's that kind of love that I in return feel for you. I've judged people too quickly and let that come between me and them (whether they knew it or not), but once I let that go, those people became so much more to me.
This is a life lesson I will live by until the day I die; "Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will."I don't know who will read this but this is what's flowing through me and this is my heart. Because as you can see, even though I hardly show it, the sting of loss is so real and the every day things people live for and partake in mean absolutely nothing when they abuse them or spend more time them then with those that matter most.When searching for a job, place to live, or anything else that one must do in life, make sure it doesn't supersede those you love.
That saying should be doubled in length with these words: "You'll make new friends, but don't ever let the old ones go." There was a point in my life when friends were there for my benefit and my entertainment. Granted, I loved them dearly, but at that young of an age, my selfish ambitions came out and I didn't necessarily always treasure what I had (til it was gone).
One of the reasons I believe the Lord has blessed me with the memory that I have is because of the heart for people He eventually gave me. Those moments I share with those around me, I relive them time and time again and it's almost as if I'm actually in those moments. I'm writing about this because I'm graduating in a year...hopefully, and I want you to know how much you mean to me. Throughout my life, I've watched as friends faded, as their lives became excruciatingly busy, as they gained and left significant others while my time with them dwindled. When I moved, I didn't lose contact with most of my old friends, but we grew up and lived different lives. It wasn't until a gospel trip back to PA in 2012 that I began to long to reconnect with many of those friends.
I have the worst habit of letting worst-case-scenario thoughts enter my mind. Normally, they don't amount to much, but one became very real for me in 2014. I've told this story before, but it helps that I mention it again. Back in 2012, I tried so hard to reconnect with a childhood friend. The big reason is because I had seen her briefly nine months before, became friends on Facebook, and saw her amazing life and I wanted to meet her all over again. I hadn't forgot about her and thought about her over the years since I moved. She was a huge part of my childhood and I loathed missing out on the teen and college years. Long story short, my last attempt to reconnect failed due to busy lives. Then in the summer of 2014, I received news that she had unexpectedly passed on in her sleep. It was later determined to be an incurable heart problem that neither she nor her family knew she had. My fear was that I would lose touch with someone and then never get a chance to be a part of their life, let alone speak with them again. I can't tell you how much that moment in my life stays with me. A worst fear realized.
I've written about all this many times, but it's been running through me and I can't reiterate it enough. Anyone who is a part of your life that you consider a friend, no matter when they bug you, make you angry, don't see things the same way you do, lose touch, etc, don't let them go. Cherish every moment you have with them. Make every moment count. Let them know how much you care. Fight for the time you have with them. And I'm not talking about just those of the same gender as you. I talking about every single person you call a friend. Even the ones who were friends of friends that became your friend. Those who you became friends with and their family also became your friend. It wasn't by chance or fate that your friends are in your life. The Lord and God of this universe knows exactly what and who you need in your life.
I'm also going to let you in on a secret...what makes me happy aside from Christ? The people in my life. And no amount of money could ever change that. If someone said "if you move to this foreign country and work here, we'll double or triple your salary," or "we'll pay you a great deal more to work holidays and weekends." I wouldn't even blink an eye and turn those offers down in a heart beat. Even if you threw out the offer of a million dollars for an entire month of my life...nope. The only amount of money I care about it what I need to pay bills, eat food, wear clothes, eventually provide for a family, and enjoy life with friends. An extra I consider worthless. Time with the people that mean the most to me is worth more than all the money in the world. If someone told me that I could have the friends I've lost back by giving up everything I owned...you wouldn't need to tell me twice. Since I've come of age where I have bills, loans, and other things that need paid for, I've never felt a lack because my Lord has provided time and time again. Even when I screw up to the point I don't deserve anything He gives me, He only gives more. It's that kind of love that I in return feel for you. I've judged people too quickly and let that come between me and them (whether they knew it or not), but once I let that go, those people became so much more to me.
This is a life lesson I will live by until the day I die; "Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will."I don't know who will read this but this is what's flowing through me and this is my heart. Because as you can see, even though I hardly show it, the sting of loss is so real and the every day things people live for and partake in mean absolutely nothing when they abuse them or spend more time them then with those that matter most.When searching for a job, place to live, or anything else that one must do in life, make sure it doesn't supersede those you love.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Summer Lovin'
Ever since I was fifteen years old, I would get asked the same question as summer neared (as I imagine most other people do as well); "what are you doing this summer?" Ten years later, that question has changed slightly to "are you working this summer?" If you asked me the first one, I'd talk non-stop like a soldier with the trigger pulled on .50 caliber machine gun. But if you asked me the latter, I'd look at you like you were speaking nonsense and then laugh.
After answering the the "work" question it is usually followed up with "taking any summer classes?" or my personal favorite "but you could make bank!" I have never worked a full summer in my life. The most was last year for a co-op as part of my college program, but I only worked nine and a half out of fourteen. I have never taken a class in the summer and I will go through hell and back to avoid doing so. Not literally, just a figure of speech for all you literalists out there.
Throughout my teenage years, I watched as my friends, who had jobs, were getting cell phones, owning laptops, and driving cars. Material things my generation longed for during those hormonal, quirky, trying-to-find-yourself years. I watched as some of them advanced in school and got out of pointless or annoying classes by taking them in the summer because they were simpler and shorter than during the regular school year. I could've had all that too. All I had to do was sign up or get a job. The cold hard truth is that I value other things way more than I do money or blitzing through school. I value taking my bike out for a run in the ever beautiful Cleveland Metro Parks on a sunny day, lying on my trampoline for long periods of time soaking in the sun or catching a little extra shut-eye, playing frisbee, basketball, volleyball, and disc golf whenever, going to the beach, fishing on the lake or in the river, being able to go on a spontaneous road trip, a week long vacation to visit family and friends, junior high camp, vision week, mountaintop, Indians baseball, late nights, sleeping in, and being free.
Sure many of those things could be done in the evenings and on the weekends, but being cooped up in a factory, office, lab, etc during the summer just ain't my cup of tea. If you came up to me and said that if I worked an insanely demanding job for five days a week from May to September that you'd pay me $1 million. I would say thanks, but no thanks. To give up an entire summer for something so temporary, I would go insane.
Now comes the next group of people that would say I'm not thinking rationally. That I'm not going to be able to enjoy the summer without the dough. That the evil empire known as college tuition will hound me until I die. My response. I'm not worried. The Lord will provide. Before I entered college, I didn't really need a car or phone and those summers turned out to be amazing. Heck I even wrote a three page, single spaced poem about the summer of 2007. I gave a lot of time in those summers from then until now to the Lord (including and entire year). I worked only during the school year at CSU. I'm also in the process of completing my final co-op job. So where am I at without working an entire summer? My first two years of college are paid off, I have nearly enough saved to pay off the rest, I have a good car paid in full, and haven't had to worry about money in years.
I'm not saying all of this to brag or to make anyone feel bad, but rather I want to show you how supplying the Lord truly is. I didn't have my license or a cell phone until I was 20. I didn't own a car until last October. I also didn't need them until I actually acquired them. The Lord is all knowing and He gave me those things when I truly needed them. Some wise brothers and sisters have told me in high school and when I entered college that I shouldn't be in a rush to get through them or to get a job just to get a job. They said you'll have the whole rest of your life to work. If you go by the ideal standard (start out of college at 25 and retire at 65), that's forty years! More realistically, in today's world, it's longer than that. Don't get me wrong, we need to work to live, to support a family, to somewhat enjoy life. There are also many reasons why working is good for you. But right now, while I'm single, still in college, and can take advantage of free summers, I'm going to do so. I've made decisions that made me miss certain things, events, people that to this day I regret. I want to avoid repeating those errors by living in the moment, taking one thing at a time, living for adventure, keeping those I know and love close, enjoying the laid-back part of life while I still can, and using some of that freedom for the coming of the Kingdom of Christ.
After answering the the "work" question it is usually followed up with "taking any summer classes?" or my personal favorite "but you could make bank!" I have never worked a full summer in my life. The most was last year for a co-op as part of my college program, but I only worked nine and a half out of fourteen. I have never taken a class in the summer and I will go through hell and back to avoid doing so. Not literally, just a figure of speech for all you literalists out there.
Throughout my teenage years, I watched as my friends, who had jobs, were getting cell phones, owning laptops, and driving cars. Material things my generation longed for during those hormonal, quirky, trying-to-find-yourself years. I watched as some of them advanced in school and got out of pointless or annoying classes by taking them in the summer because they were simpler and shorter than during the regular school year. I could've had all that too. All I had to do was sign up or get a job. The cold hard truth is that I value other things way more than I do money or blitzing through school. I value taking my bike out for a run in the ever beautiful Cleveland Metro Parks on a sunny day, lying on my trampoline for long periods of time soaking in the sun or catching a little extra shut-eye, playing frisbee, basketball, volleyball, and disc golf whenever, going to the beach, fishing on the lake or in the river, being able to go on a spontaneous road trip, a week long vacation to visit family and friends, junior high camp, vision week, mountaintop, Indians baseball, late nights, sleeping in, and being free.
Sure many of those things could be done in the evenings and on the weekends, but being cooped up in a factory, office, lab, etc during the summer just ain't my cup of tea. If you came up to me and said that if I worked an insanely demanding job for five days a week from May to September that you'd pay me $1 million. I would say thanks, but no thanks. To give up an entire summer for something so temporary, I would go insane.
Now comes the next group of people that would say I'm not thinking rationally. That I'm not going to be able to enjoy the summer without the dough. That the evil empire known as college tuition will hound me until I die. My response. I'm not worried. The Lord will provide. Before I entered college, I didn't really need a car or phone and those summers turned out to be amazing. Heck I even wrote a three page, single spaced poem about the summer of 2007. I gave a lot of time in those summers from then until now to the Lord (including and entire year). I worked only during the school year at CSU. I'm also in the process of completing my final co-op job. So where am I at without working an entire summer? My first two years of college are paid off, I have nearly enough saved to pay off the rest, I have a good car paid in full, and haven't had to worry about money in years.
I'm not saying all of this to brag or to make anyone feel bad, but rather I want to show you how supplying the Lord truly is. I didn't have my license or a cell phone until I was 20. I didn't own a car until last October. I also didn't need them until I actually acquired them. The Lord is all knowing and He gave me those things when I truly needed them. Some wise brothers and sisters have told me in high school and when I entered college that I shouldn't be in a rush to get through them or to get a job just to get a job. They said you'll have the whole rest of your life to work. If you go by the ideal standard (start out of college at 25 and retire at 65), that's forty years! More realistically, in today's world, it's longer than that. Don't get me wrong, we need to work to live, to support a family, to somewhat enjoy life. There are also many reasons why working is good for you. But right now, while I'm single, still in college, and can take advantage of free summers, I'm going to do so. I've made decisions that made me miss certain things, events, people that to this day I regret. I want to avoid repeating those errors by living in the moment, taking one thing at a time, living for adventure, keeping those I know and love close, enjoying the laid-back part of life while I still can, and using some of that freedom for the coming of the Kingdom of Christ.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)