I rarely ever title things with one word. Out of the 60+ poems I have written, I do not recall many of them having a one-word title. Why? Because I feel at times that a title like that makes the piece more common and if something more profound, more popular is written, that will be the piece that gets remembered when someone mentions that heading. But after the things I've gone through in the last few years, after I've written time after time on how much people matter, I believe the above inscription says enough for what I'm about to place here.
I have written over and over how much people matter not only in my life, but everyone else's too. The one thing I never really brought forth is that even when you invest yourself into the pride and joy of God's creation, they don't come without a price. And when your love for people comes from the very Love that gave you life, your burden grows greater.
Let me explain. I used to be selfish. As a kid it would be apparent at times, but as a teenager my calamity would be a silent killer. You wouldn't see this filth unless I was truly having a bad day. What you couldn't see was that if certain things needed done, but no specific person was asked to do them, you wouldn't see my hand go up or my mouth open. I would avoid homeless people because quite honestly they scared me, but I also didn't want to give them any money for fear it would go to waste. If someone I knew was going through something because of someone else I did not know, only if I was reached out to would I respond and then forget about it because it didn't necessarily concern me. Granted, this was not always the case, but happened far too often.
Why did I just expose a part of my past for the world to see that isn't so great? Because I needed to create a foundation to build what I'm about to say next. Ever since the Lord burned that selfishness from me and taught me how to care, I didn't realize the weight it would put on me. Growing up in the church life, I've had many different people who served me throughout the years. However, not many remain. There are a number of reasons they walked away from the church and the Lord, but the fact of the matter is that they were crucial to my growth, set a pattern for me to follow, and now, to them, all that was waste. I haven't seen some of them since high school, but I still recall the times they served me and still know their whole name even though I was a kid and haven't seen them in 10-12 years. Yet they still seem to remain on my heart and in my prayers in hopes they would one day return.
Another thing that comes with the church life is you meet many different types of people who are now your spiritual family through our one Father God who made us all. Because Christ cares for His church, so should I. And with the way technology and social media has allowed us to be uber connected (maybe more than we'd like sometimes), we see everything in an instant. I see people in the church who I'm not super close with lose loved ones, get divorced, have break-ups, get life threatening illnesses and all I can say is that when I see that it hurts me because you are hurting. It hurts even more when I know there's almost nothing I can do to help other than pray. Because I at least call you a friend means that if you are hurt, I care. I really do.
When you care, people notice. This makes you more prone to being asked for help or other matters brought to your attention that wouldn't have been otherwise. In these past few years, I've had some worst fears come true. I've also had things asked of me that wouldn't have been if I did not have a friendship with the people I do. Recently I had one of those experiences and even though outwardly I didn't show it, on the inside I was rattled. I had way too much on my mind and this event that occurred left me in a state of assuming the worst. Thankfully it turned out okay (the power of prayer!) but if it didn't...I don't know.
I never signed up for this. But then again I've caused things in my life that others never signed up for. This is what caring truly is. You cannot make it through life without people. Every person who enters your life adds/shapes your journey. The sad or fortunate (depending on who) thing is that not all were meant to stay in your life forever. That's why one must make the most of the time they have with those they love, show kindness and hope to the unkind and hopeless, and when that new-found burden is about to crush you, look to Christ to be the strength.
I know not all of you will see this, but in the hopes that some of you do, know this. If you have served me, been a peer, or I have served you and the church/Lord are no longer part of your life. I still think about you. I still pray for you. I still hope that you will come back. I can wait. Years in our time is peanuts to the time Christ has had to wait for His bride to be ready. I care about you.
Monday, October 12, 2015
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Inspiration and Dreams
Do you ever have a song or two that you like to listen to, can sing every word, but have never truly paid attention to the lyrics? This happens to me from time to time. The other day I was listening to Kenny Chesney's "El Cerrito Place". I really like this song because it one of many of his songs that hits me where I'm at. The song is about him searching for his love, whoever she may be. He has a vast array of "pretty people" to choose from in El Cerrito Place, but she isn't them. He searches for her in magical, but real places, places that bring him to his happy place. The lyrics that really struck a cord in me was the second verse:
"Someone said they might have seen you where the ocean meets the land
So I've been out here all night lookin' for your footprints in the sandDid you hear the ocean singing, baby did you sing alongWhile you danced out in the water to some ol' forgotten song,Were you even here at all?"
He's on the coast, his island paradise. The imagery in this verse is spectacular. Why it get's me is because the islands are one of many places I want to visit, a dream of a coastal paradise. Then, the other part is that he's searching for his love, whomever that may be. In the same way, being single, it's almost like I'm on a similar adventure. Enjoying life as it comes, wondering who that person will be, and who knows, maybe I'll find her in these places.
But the real inspiration behind this post is the poem I was inspired to write based on this verse. It all came to me at once and I wrote it in less than ten minutes. Now that I've given you the background, here is my latest piece hot off the presses...er hard drive.
"Someone said they might have seen you where the ocean meets the land
So I've been out here all night lookin' for your footprints in the sandDid you hear the ocean singing, baby did you sing alongWhile you danced out in the water to some ol' forgotten song,Were you even here at all?"
He's on the coast, his island paradise. The imagery in this verse is spectacular. Why it get's me is because the islands are one of many places I want to visit, a dream of a coastal paradise. Then, the other part is that he's searching for his love, whomever that may be. In the same way, being single, it's almost like I'm on a similar adventure. Enjoying life as it comes, wondering who that person will be, and who knows, maybe I'll find her in these places.
But the real inspiration behind this post is the poem I was inspired to write based on this verse. It all came to me at once and I wrote it in less than ten minutes. Now that I've given you the background, here is my latest piece hot off the presses...er hard drive.
Where Are You My Love?
By Josh Watkins
Where are you my love?
Why do you elude me so?
What must I do to unmask you mystery?
Who are you really?
Some said they have seen you,
on Mt. Everest’s peak.
So I packed my bags
and headed westward.
I endured the blinding snow,
the dwindling strength,
the diminishing breath,
but I found you not.
Some said they saw you,
at the lake of the great fall’s leap.
So I swam the ocean towards the setting sun,
hoping to see your silhouette.
I cut through jungle,
and prolonged the monkey’s laugh,
Crossed treacherous terrain,
and gained love’s scars.
I reached the magical waters,
and bathed in their welcoming wash,
But my heart sank beneath their depths,
seeing no trace of your beauty.
Some said they gazed upon you,
at freedom’s highest flame.
So I ran,
carrying love’s weight.
I saw the flame,
and basked in her message.
I gazed upon the ash, tears, broken dreams
and saw the phoenix rising.
Then after all my wandering,
chasing, searching, I gained a thought.
Maybe in each place I’ve been,
i wasn’t chasing you,
You are chasing me.
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Musings of a Wanderer
For those of you who couldn't tell by the explosion of photos or facebook, I went back to Pennsylvania for our annual family vacation. The only difference is that we go to Wisconsin one year (my mom's side of the family) and PA the next (Dad's side). Whenever I go back to PA, the nostalgia kicks in hard. Seeing the towns I grew up in or by. Remembering Saturday nights going out to eat with so many options on a stretch known as the Golden Mile, heading to Falloon's Fun Center afterwards for arcade games and prizes, then to Walmart to browse the toy aisles while the parents shopped, and that was only on a Saturday. I also dearly miss walking out my front door and seeing the Pigeon Hills in the distance, the two lane roads where the speed limit is 45-50 even with businesses and none of this 25mph junk. What makes driving more fun is all the hills as you go as well as the winding, twisting back roads where hardly a soul was to be found. I miss hearing country music everywhere I turn instead of overplayed mainstream blah. The lack of police, ambulance, and fire truck sirens was soothing to my ears. We walked into an ice cream shop that had a sign that said "We don't dial 911" and had a hand on a revolver and I thought "If I were a criminal, I'd think twice about trying to rob this place."
Even with all this longing comes realities. Every time I go back, the towns change. A handful of restaurants and entertainment complexes that brought good memories are gone and all this new pizzazz is magically there. The house that was a second home to me, was also at one point my actual home, and the place where the Church in New Oxford met on Sundays is no more. Well, the house is still there, but the new tenants haven't cared for it properly and the Church in New Oxford as I knew it no longer exists. When you live there, the change happens little by little and you adjust. But when you go away for awhile and come back to everything changed, it's like the child that grew up and didn't see his father until his adult years. It stings a little, but I also realize a child can't remain a child forever.
Going back this time, there were some things I knew I had to do. One was visit the Gettysburg Battlefield. My parents took me here often as a kid, but I never had the full appreciation of the history I was standing on. So this time, I wanted to experience it in that way. This photo says a lot about this trip and who I am.
Photo Credit: Sarah Watkins
I am standing on a boulder as far as I can go on Little Round Top. This was a massive hill that was under Union control, but was very weakly guarded. With the Confederates moving in, Union General Warren realized how crucial it was to defend this hill. He immediately reinforced and defended it, thus saving the Union from a near disaster. Over 150 years later, you can't tell from the naked eye that the bloodiest war in loss of American lives was fought here. The land has recovered and it is so breath-taking. You can see in the background the Pigeon Hills that I saw every day and how beautiful they look. The little history lesson aside, this photo says a lot about me. I was at the highest point and as far as I could go overlooking the wonder of God's creation before me. It depicts my desire for adventure, my will to go as high and far as I can until it is impossible for me to go any further. But here, is not the end. I am looking over a seemingly endless landscape, taking in the view, and thirsting to continue on into the wild blue yonder.
The second of the two things I had to do was go back to Hershey Park. If you haven't heard of it or have never been, it is an amusement park that lies in Hershey, PA. Hershey is the heart and soul of Hershey Bars, Reeses Cups, Twizzlers, and other well known candy brands associated with Hershey. I had been here eight or so times as a kid, but never had the guts to ride a roller coaster. To go back to Hershey park and ride all their major coasters was not only for the thrill of it, but also for me personally to close the book on the fears that robbed me of experiencing such a thrilling joy.
This trip seemed to fly by much faster than years past, and now that I've reached this age, I wish in some sense that time would slow down. Two years goes by quick, but a lot can happen/change within that time. Now that I've given my mind dump for the month, I will say this. Having this heavy nostalgia is one thing, but where I am now and the people who are in my life make up the joys of living each day.There's a saying from the movie Braveheart spoken by the main character William Wallace. "Every man dies, but not every man lives." If one were to live for material things or live for education and wealth, but not experience creation and the world around them, that isn't living. We can latch onto things that once brought us joy or keep to ourselves and never experience what living really is, or we can take that step into the unknown as well as make the most of the time we have with those around us. And remember, not all who wander are lost.
Even with all this longing comes realities. Every time I go back, the towns change. A handful of restaurants and entertainment complexes that brought good memories are gone and all this new pizzazz is magically there. The house that was a second home to me, was also at one point my actual home, and the place where the Church in New Oxford met on Sundays is no more. Well, the house is still there, but the new tenants haven't cared for it properly and the Church in New Oxford as I knew it no longer exists. When you live there, the change happens little by little and you adjust. But when you go away for awhile and come back to everything changed, it's like the child that grew up and didn't see his father until his adult years. It stings a little, but I also realize a child can't remain a child forever.
Going back this time, there were some things I knew I had to do. One was visit the Gettysburg Battlefield. My parents took me here often as a kid, but I never had the full appreciation of the history I was standing on. So this time, I wanted to experience it in that way. This photo says a lot about this trip and who I am.
Photo Credit: Sarah Watkins
I am standing on a boulder as far as I can go on Little Round Top. This was a massive hill that was under Union control, but was very weakly guarded. With the Confederates moving in, Union General Warren realized how crucial it was to defend this hill. He immediately reinforced and defended it, thus saving the Union from a near disaster. Over 150 years later, you can't tell from the naked eye that the bloodiest war in loss of American lives was fought here. The land has recovered and it is so breath-taking. You can see in the background the Pigeon Hills that I saw every day and how beautiful they look. The little history lesson aside, this photo says a lot about me. I was at the highest point and as far as I could go overlooking the wonder of God's creation before me. It depicts my desire for adventure, my will to go as high and far as I can until it is impossible for me to go any further. But here, is not the end. I am looking over a seemingly endless landscape, taking in the view, and thirsting to continue on into the wild blue yonder.
The second of the two things I had to do was go back to Hershey Park. If you haven't heard of it or have never been, it is an amusement park that lies in Hershey, PA. Hershey is the heart and soul of Hershey Bars, Reeses Cups, Twizzlers, and other well known candy brands associated with Hershey. I had been here eight or so times as a kid, but never had the guts to ride a roller coaster. To go back to Hershey park and ride all their major coasters was not only for the thrill of it, but also for me personally to close the book on the fears that robbed me of experiencing such a thrilling joy.
This trip seemed to fly by much faster than years past, and now that I've reached this age, I wish in some sense that time would slow down. Two years goes by quick, but a lot can happen/change within that time. Now that I've given my mind dump for the month, I will say this. Having this heavy nostalgia is one thing, but where I am now and the people who are in my life make up the joys of living each day.There's a saying from the movie Braveheart spoken by the main character William Wallace. "Every man dies, but not every man lives." If one were to live for material things or live for education and wealth, but not experience creation and the world around them, that isn't living. We can latch onto things that once brought us joy or keep to ourselves and never experience what living really is, or we can take that step into the unknown as well as make the most of the time we have with those around us. And remember, not all who wander are lost.
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Friends: Worth More Than All the Money in the World
For some strange reason, a couple days ago, a certain saying crossed my mind that I always dreaded to hear and despised it when I eventually heard it. "You'll make new friends." As an elementary school aged child, I was happy with where I was and the small cluster of friends I had. But that saying meant I had to leave the other ones behind. That was what I hated the most. The fact that people I was growing up with, people who made my life that much better, I had to say good-bye because I was being relocated against my will. That saying was a thorn in my side.
That saying should be doubled in length with these words: "You'll make new friends, but don't ever let the old ones go." There was a point in my life when friends were there for my benefit and my entertainment. Granted, I loved them dearly, but at that young of an age, my selfish ambitions came out and I didn't necessarily always treasure what I had (til it was gone).
One of the reasons I believe the Lord has blessed me with the memory that I have is because of the heart for people He eventually gave me. Those moments I share with those around me, I relive them time and time again and it's almost as if I'm actually in those moments. I'm writing about this because I'm graduating in a year...hopefully, and I want you to know how much you mean to me. Throughout my life, I've watched as friends faded, as their lives became excruciatingly busy, as they gained and left significant others while my time with them dwindled. When I moved, I didn't lose contact with most of my old friends, but we grew up and lived different lives. It wasn't until a gospel trip back to PA in 2012 that I began to long to reconnect with many of those friends.
I have the worst habit of letting worst-case-scenario thoughts enter my mind. Normally, they don't amount to much, but one became very real for me in 2014. I've told this story before, but it helps that I mention it again. Back in 2012, I tried so hard to reconnect with a childhood friend. The big reason is because I had seen her briefly nine months before, became friends on Facebook, and saw her amazing life and I wanted to meet her all over again. I hadn't forgot about her and thought about her over the years since I moved. She was a huge part of my childhood and I loathed missing out on the teen and college years. Long story short, my last attempt to reconnect failed due to busy lives. Then in the summer of 2014, I received news that she had unexpectedly passed on in her sleep. It was later determined to be an incurable heart problem that neither she nor her family knew she had. My fear was that I would lose touch with someone and then never get a chance to be a part of their life, let alone speak with them again. I can't tell you how much that moment in my life stays with me. A worst fear realized.
I've written about all this many times, but it's been running through me and I can't reiterate it enough. Anyone who is a part of your life that you consider a friend, no matter when they bug you, make you angry, don't see things the same way you do, lose touch, etc, don't let them go. Cherish every moment you have with them. Make every moment count. Let them know how much you care. Fight for the time you have with them. And I'm not talking about just those of the same gender as you. I talking about every single person you call a friend. Even the ones who were friends of friends that became your friend. Those who you became friends with and their family also became your friend. It wasn't by chance or fate that your friends are in your life. The Lord and God of this universe knows exactly what and who you need in your life.
I'm also going to let you in on a secret...what makes me happy aside from Christ? The people in my life. And no amount of money could ever change that. If someone said "if you move to this foreign country and work here, we'll double or triple your salary," or "we'll pay you a great deal more to work holidays and weekends." I wouldn't even blink an eye and turn those offers down in a heart beat. Even if you threw out the offer of a million dollars for an entire month of my life...nope. The only amount of money I care about it what I need to pay bills, eat food, wear clothes, eventually provide for a family, and enjoy life with friends. An extra I consider worthless. Time with the people that mean the most to me is worth more than all the money in the world. If someone told me that I could have the friends I've lost back by giving up everything I owned...you wouldn't need to tell me twice. Since I've come of age where I have bills, loans, and other things that need paid for, I've never felt a lack because my Lord has provided time and time again. Even when I screw up to the point I don't deserve anything He gives me, He only gives more. It's that kind of love that I in return feel for you. I've judged people too quickly and let that come between me and them (whether they knew it or not), but once I let that go, those people became so much more to me.
This is a life lesson I will live by until the day I die; "Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will."I don't know who will read this but this is what's flowing through me and this is my heart. Because as you can see, even though I hardly show it, the sting of loss is so real and the every day things people live for and partake in mean absolutely nothing when they abuse them or spend more time them then with those that matter most.When searching for a job, place to live, or anything else that one must do in life, make sure it doesn't supersede those you love.
That saying should be doubled in length with these words: "You'll make new friends, but don't ever let the old ones go." There was a point in my life when friends were there for my benefit and my entertainment. Granted, I loved them dearly, but at that young of an age, my selfish ambitions came out and I didn't necessarily always treasure what I had (til it was gone).
One of the reasons I believe the Lord has blessed me with the memory that I have is because of the heart for people He eventually gave me. Those moments I share with those around me, I relive them time and time again and it's almost as if I'm actually in those moments. I'm writing about this because I'm graduating in a year...hopefully, and I want you to know how much you mean to me. Throughout my life, I've watched as friends faded, as their lives became excruciatingly busy, as they gained and left significant others while my time with them dwindled. When I moved, I didn't lose contact with most of my old friends, but we grew up and lived different lives. It wasn't until a gospel trip back to PA in 2012 that I began to long to reconnect with many of those friends.
I have the worst habit of letting worst-case-scenario thoughts enter my mind. Normally, they don't amount to much, but one became very real for me in 2014. I've told this story before, but it helps that I mention it again. Back in 2012, I tried so hard to reconnect with a childhood friend. The big reason is because I had seen her briefly nine months before, became friends on Facebook, and saw her amazing life and I wanted to meet her all over again. I hadn't forgot about her and thought about her over the years since I moved. She was a huge part of my childhood and I loathed missing out on the teen and college years. Long story short, my last attempt to reconnect failed due to busy lives. Then in the summer of 2014, I received news that she had unexpectedly passed on in her sleep. It was later determined to be an incurable heart problem that neither she nor her family knew she had. My fear was that I would lose touch with someone and then never get a chance to be a part of their life, let alone speak with them again. I can't tell you how much that moment in my life stays with me. A worst fear realized.
I've written about all this many times, but it's been running through me and I can't reiterate it enough. Anyone who is a part of your life that you consider a friend, no matter when they bug you, make you angry, don't see things the same way you do, lose touch, etc, don't let them go. Cherish every moment you have with them. Make every moment count. Let them know how much you care. Fight for the time you have with them. And I'm not talking about just those of the same gender as you. I talking about every single person you call a friend. Even the ones who were friends of friends that became your friend. Those who you became friends with and their family also became your friend. It wasn't by chance or fate that your friends are in your life. The Lord and God of this universe knows exactly what and who you need in your life.
I'm also going to let you in on a secret...what makes me happy aside from Christ? The people in my life. And no amount of money could ever change that. If someone said "if you move to this foreign country and work here, we'll double or triple your salary," or "we'll pay you a great deal more to work holidays and weekends." I wouldn't even blink an eye and turn those offers down in a heart beat. Even if you threw out the offer of a million dollars for an entire month of my life...nope. The only amount of money I care about it what I need to pay bills, eat food, wear clothes, eventually provide for a family, and enjoy life with friends. An extra I consider worthless. Time with the people that mean the most to me is worth more than all the money in the world. If someone told me that I could have the friends I've lost back by giving up everything I owned...you wouldn't need to tell me twice. Since I've come of age where I have bills, loans, and other things that need paid for, I've never felt a lack because my Lord has provided time and time again. Even when I screw up to the point I don't deserve anything He gives me, He only gives more. It's that kind of love that I in return feel for you. I've judged people too quickly and let that come between me and them (whether they knew it or not), but once I let that go, those people became so much more to me.
This is a life lesson I will live by until the day I die; "Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will."I don't know who will read this but this is what's flowing through me and this is my heart. Because as you can see, even though I hardly show it, the sting of loss is so real and the every day things people live for and partake in mean absolutely nothing when they abuse them or spend more time them then with those that matter most.When searching for a job, place to live, or anything else that one must do in life, make sure it doesn't supersede those you love.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Summer Lovin'
Ever since I was fifteen years old, I would get asked the same question as summer neared (as I imagine most other people do as well); "what are you doing this summer?" Ten years later, that question has changed slightly to "are you working this summer?" If you asked me the first one, I'd talk non-stop like a soldier with the trigger pulled on .50 caliber machine gun. But if you asked me the latter, I'd look at you like you were speaking nonsense and then laugh.
After answering the the "work" question it is usually followed up with "taking any summer classes?" or my personal favorite "but you could make bank!" I have never worked a full summer in my life. The most was last year for a co-op as part of my college program, but I only worked nine and a half out of fourteen. I have never taken a class in the summer and I will go through hell and back to avoid doing so. Not literally, just a figure of speech for all you literalists out there.
Throughout my teenage years, I watched as my friends, who had jobs, were getting cell phones, owning laptops, and driving cars. Material things my generation longed for during those hormonal, quirky, trying-to-find-yourself years. I watched as some of them advanced in school and got out of pointless or annoying classes by taking them in the summer because they were simpler and shorter than during the regular school year. I could've had all that too. All I had to do was sign up or get a job. The cold hard truth is that I value other things way more than I do money or blitzing through school. I value taking my bike out for a run in the ever beautiful Cleveland Metro Parks on a sunny day, lying on my trampoline for long periods of time soaking in the sun or catching a little extra shut-eye, playing frisbee, basketball, volleyball, and disc golf whenever, going to the beach, fishing on the lake or in the river, being able to go on a spontaneous road trip, a week long vacation to visit family and friends, junior high camp, vision week, mountaintop, Indians baseball, late nights, sleeping in, and being free.
Sure many of those things could be done in the evenings and on the weekends, but being cooped up in a factory, office, lab, etc during the summer just ain't my cup of tea. If you came up to me and said that if I worked an insanely demanding job for five days a week from May to September that you'd pay me $1 million. I would say thanks, but no thanks. To give up an entire summer for something so temporary, I would go insane.
Now comes the next group of people that would say I'm not thinking rationally. That I'm not going to be able to enjoy the summer without the dough. That the evil empire known as college tuition will hound me until I die. My response. I'm not worried. The Lord will provide. Before I entered college, I didn't really need a car or phone and those summers turned out to be amazing. Heck I even wrote a three page, single spaced poem about the summer of 2007. I gave a lot of time in those summers from then until now to the Lord (including and entire year). I worked only during the school year at CSU. I'm also in the process of completing my final co-op job. So where am I at without working an entire summer? My first two years of college are paid off, I have nearly enough saved to pay off the rest, I have a good car paid in full, and haven't had to worry about money in years.
I'm not saying all of this to brag or to make anyone feel bad, but rather I want to show you how supplying the Lord truly is. I didn't have my license or a cell phone until I was 20. I didn't own a car until last October. I also didn't need them until I actually acquired them. The Lord is all knowing and He gave me those things when I truly needed them. Some wise brothers and sisters have told me in high school and when I entered college that I shouldn't be in a rush to get through them or to get a job just to get a job. They said you'll have the whole rest of your life to work. If you go by the ideal standard (start out of college at 25 and retire at 65), that's forty years! More realistically, in today's world, it's longer than that. Don't get me wrong, we need to work to live, to support a family, to somewhat enjoy life. There are also many reasons why working is good for you. But right now, while I'm single, still in college, and can take advantage of free summers, I'm going to do so. I've made decisions that made me miss certain things, events, people that to this day I regret. I want to avoid repeating those errors by living in the moment, taking one thing at a time, living for adventure, keeping those I know and love close, enjoying the laid-back part of life while I still can, and using some of that freedom for the coming of the Kingdom of Christ.
After answering the the "work" question it is usually followed up with "taking any summer classes?" or my personal favorite "but you could make bank!" I have never worked a full summer in my life. The most was last year for a co-op as part of my college program, but I only worked nine and a half out of fourteen. I have never taken a class in the summer and I will go through hell and back to avoid doing so. Not literally, just a figure of speech for all you literalists out there.
Throughout my teenage years, I watched as my friends, who had jobs, were getting cell phones, owning laptops, and driving cars. Material things my generation longed for during those hormonal, quirky, trying-to-find-yourself years. I watched as some of them advanced in school and got out of pointless or annoying classes by taking them in the summer because they were simpler and shorter than during the regular school year. I could've had all that too. All I had to do was sign up or get a job. The cold hard truth is that I value other things way more than I do money or blitzing through school. I value taking my bike out for a run in the ever beautiful Cleveland Metro Parks on a sunny day, lying on my trampoline for long periods of time soaking in the sun or catching a little extra shut-eye, playing frisbee, basketball, volleyball, and disc golf whenever, going to the beach, fishing on the lake or in the river, being able to go on a spontaneous road trip, a week long vacation to visit family and friends, junior high camp, vision week, mountaintop, Indians baseball, late nights, sleeping in, and being free.
Sure many of those things could be done in the evenings and on the weekends, but being cooped up in a factory, office, lab, etc during the summer just ain't my cup of tea. If you came up to me and said that if I worked an insanely demanding job for five days a week from May to September that you'd pay me $1 million. I would say thanks, but no thanks. To give up an entire summer for something so temporary, I would go insane.
Now comes the next group of people that would say I'm not thinking rationally. That I'm not going to be able to enjoy the summer without the dough. That the evil empire known as college tuition will hound me until I die. My response. I'm not worried. The Lord will provide. Before I entered college, I didn't really need a car or phone and those summers turned out to be amazing. Heck I even wrote a three page, single spaced poem about the summer of 2007. I gave a lot of time in those summers from then until now to the Lord (including and entire year). I worked only during the school year at CSU. I'm also in the process of completing my final co-op job. So where am I at without working an entire summer? My first two years of college are paid off, I have nearly enough saved to pay off the rest, I have a good car paid in full, and haven't had to worry about money in years.
I'm not saying all of this to brag or to make anyone feel bad, but rather I want to show you how supplying the Lord truly is. I didn't have my license or a cell phone until I was 20. I didn't own a car until last October. I also didn't need them until I actually acquired them. The Lord is all knowing and He gave me those things when I truly needed them. Some wise brothers and sisters have told me in high school and when I entered college that I shouldn't be in a rush to get through them or to get a job just to get a job. They said you'll have the whole rest of your life to work. If you go by the ideal standard (start out of college at 25 and retire at 65), that's forty years! More realistically, in today's world, it's longer than that. Don't get me wrong, we need to work to live, to support a family, to somewhat enjoy life. There are also many reasons why working is good for you. But right now, while I'm single, still in college, and can take advantage of free summers, I'm going to do so. I've made decisions that made me miss certain things, events, people that to this day I regret. I want to avoid repeating those errors by living in the moment, taking one thing at a time, living for adventure, keeping those I know and love close, enjoying the laid-back part of life while I still can, and using some of that freedom for the coming of the Kingdom of Christ.
Thursday, April 16, 2015
This Isn't Good Bye. It's See You Soon (For Tom and John).
There are approximately 7.286 billion people in the world and that number is constantly increasing. Yet, if only one of those 7.286 billion people were to breathe their last, it would't go unnoticed. This past weekend, the world lost a wonderful man, but eternity gained him. This man was Tom McNaughton.
At a certain point in my life, I realized how important each and every person was to me whether you are family or whether I've met you in person. Even more so this past year when the Lord called six more home. I wanted to know how many people there actually were. Therefore I (awhile back) began to make a list. If I met you and talked to you more than once, you are most likely on it. The list is not complete, but at last count there were 815 names. That is a lot of people. The Lord placed every single one in my life. So as a way to cope with loss and for others as well, I once again take the time to remember not one, but two brothers in Christ.
Tom McNaughton was someone who I didn't know well personally. But through the church and through his children, I began to know who he was. I had talked to him in brief at large church events and have heard him speak before, but even in those small moments, I saw a man who loved the Lord, his family, and the church. One thing I liked most was that he could always make you smile. Anytime I saw his name appear on Facebook, I would take more time than usual to read the post because that meant it was either good or he would say a simple comment that made it ten times better. He was funny, intelligent, took no bs, and was never afraid to show his pride in his family.
He was also a veteran. That in itself deserves high honor. For someone to put his own life in check and defended this country, built on freedom, and where the currency still reads "In God We Trust," is a great sacrifice. This country needs more patriots like him. So thank you Tom.
One last thing that I admired most about him is his family. I met many of them before I met Tom, but by the time I did, I felt like I already knew him. All his children live up to the McNaughton name.They all reflect what it is to be a McNaughton. Through all the stuff they've been through in life, no matter what some people may think, you could tell he was proud of every single one.
I made a small mention in my New Year's post about those who passed on last year. I wrote a post before that on Brian Brickner. Now I'm writing one about Tom. It now seems fitting to me that I should write about John Schneider as well. Like Tom, John's passing was sudden an unexpected. I had so much going on in my life and had been swamped with previous losses that I couldn't bring myself to write another memorial so soon. Now I feel I should.
I first met John when I moved to Ohio nearly 12 years ago. As a 12 year old kid I saw him as one of the older ones who was trying to make me feel welcome. One of the ways he did so was by playfully picking on me then laughing afterwards to show he meant no harm. It was not long after that a series of events occurred in which I got to know who he truly was.
The first was a little over a year after we moved. He organized a Gettysburg bicycle trip and the best part was was that it was right near where I grew up. So not only did he take me back to where I longed to be at the time, all my new friends got to experience where I grew up and I experienced Gettysburg in a way I never had before.
The winter following the Gettysburg trip, he was assigned as my group leader for Ignite at Camp Tecumseh. I'll admit I was nervous because I didn't know how this older man would be able to keep up with us Jr. highers. But he surprised me. He kept up with us for the whole weekend, including the activities and power sessions. A year later, he was my group leader again as we ventured north of the border to Toronto, Canada. Two of my favorite memories of John came from here. The first is that during a rotation activity, we had to apply face paint to each other, but only with the brush pressed between our wrists (no fingers allowed). He at first sat by a watched us but then decided to get some paint too. I asked him what he wanted and he simply said "Write 'I love Sue'". So that's exactly what I did. He left it on for the rest of the evening too.
The second memory happened when we were waiting for the power session to start. There were jump ropes lying around and we were playing with them. After a few minutes, John asked to have one. He then began to twirl it as if he was a kid again. I was pretty impressed at his jump roping skills.
The thing I admired most about him was his heart for the church, the saints, and the young people. John was always willing to be involved, helping out however he could. When he was full of the Spirit, he would testify multiple times in one meeting because he couldn't hold back. One weekend, Mike Samulak and Ben Shumway organized a high school/jr. high time at the Huntington House (Ashland was only a frame for the Great Room at the time). John came for the weekend to serve because he enjoyed being with us. On Saturday evening we had gone out to play Ultimate Frisbee and it was a little cold and somewhat wet. Both Mike and Ben joined. Where was John? Through the window you could see him smiling as he watched us while cooking chili for us all. That was John.
For those we love and cherish, no time is the right time. Neither of these brothers were young, but both their passings were out of the blue. Last Saturday during the Cleveland young people's meeting (this was before I found out Tom had passed), one of the young people suggested we each give one reason as to why we can bless the Lord. Most of them said because He carries them through hard times, is always there, loves them, etc. When it was my turn, I told them that I can bless the Lord because of the people he has put in my life. I didn't tell them this, but that includes those who sometimes rub me the wrong way. Because each and every person can affect you, move you, shape you in your Christian walk whether they themselves are saved or not. I hardly knew Tom and I knew John well. But both men were part of the Church. Both men had an affect on my life. Both finished the race. This is one of the best things about the Christian life. When we go to be with the Lord, for those of us left on the earth, this isn't good bye. It's see you soon.
At a certain point in my life, I realized how important each and every person was to me whether you are family or whether I've met you in person. Even more so this past year when the Lord called six more home. I wanted to know how many people there actually were. Therefore I (awhile back) began to make a list. If I met you and talked to you more than once, you are most likely on it. The list is not complete, but at last count there were 815 names. That is a lot of people. The Lord placed every single one in my life. So as a way to cope with loss and for others as well, I once again take the time to remember not one, but two brothers in Christ.
Tom McNaughton was someone who I didn't know well personally. But through the church and through his children, I began to know who he was. I had talked to him in brief at large church events and have heard him speak before, but even in those small moments, I saw a man who loved the Lord, his family, and the church. One thing I liked most was that he could always make you smile. Anytime I saw his name appear on Facebook, I would take more time than usual to read the post because that meant it was either good or he would say a simple comment that made it ten times better. He was funny, intelligent, took no bs, and was never afraid to show his pride in his family.
He was also a veteran. That in itself deserves high honor. For someone to put his own life in check and defended this country, built on freedom, and where the currency still reads "In God We Trust," is a great sacrifice. This country needs more patriots like him. So thank you Tom.
One last thing that I admired most about him is his family. I met many of them before I met Tom, but by the time I did, I felt like I already knew him. All his children live up to the McNaughton name.They all reflect what it is to be a McNaughton. Through all the stuff they've been through in life, no matter what some people may think, you could tell he was proud of every single one.
I made a small mention in my New Year's post about those who passed on last year. I wrote a post before that on Brian Brickner. Now I'm writing one about Tom. It now seems fitting to me that I should write about John Schneider as well. Like Tom, John's passing was sudden an unexpected. I had so much going on in my life and had been swamped with previous losses that I couldn't bring myself to write another memorial so soon. Now I feel I should.
I first met John when I moved to Ohio nearly 12 years ago. As a 12 year old kid I saw him as one of the older ones who was trying to make me feel welcome. One of the ways he did so was by playfully picking on me then laughing afterwards to show he meant no harm. It was not long after that a series of events occurred in which I got to know who he truly was.
The first was a little over a year after we moved. He organized a Gettysburg bicycle trip and the best part was was that it was right near where I grew up. So not only did he take me back to where I longed to be at the time, all my new friends got to experience where I grew up and I experienced Gettysburg in a way I never had before.
The winter following the Gettysburg trip, he was assigned as my group leader for Ignite at Camp Tecumseh. I'll admit I was nervous because I didn't know how this older man would be able to keep up with us Jr. highers. But he surprised me. He kept up with us for the whole weekend, including the activities and power sessions. A year later, he was my group leader again as we ventured north of the border to Toronto, Canada. Two of my favorite memories of John came from here. The first is that during a rotation activity, we had to apply face paint to each other, but only with the brush pressed between our wrists (no fingers allowed). He at first sat by a watched us but then decided to get some paint too. I asked him what he wanted and he simply said "Write 'I love Sue'". So that's exactly what I did. He left it on for the rest of the evening too.
The second memory happened when we were waiting for the power session to start. There were jump ropes lying around and we were playing with them. After a few minutes, John asked to have one. He then began to twirl it as if he was a kid again. I was pretty impressed at his jump roping skills.
The thing I admired most about him was his heart for the church, the saints, and the young people. John was always willing to be involved, helping out however he could. When he was full of the Spirit, he would testify multiple times in one meeting because he couldn't hold back. One weekend, Mike Samulak and Ben Shumway organized a high school/jr. high time at the Huntington House (Ashland was only a frame for the Great Room at the time). John came for the weekend to serve because he enjoyed being with us. On Saturday evening we had gone out to play Ultimate Frisbee and it was a little cold and somewhat wet. Both Mike and Ben joined. Where was John? Through the window you could see him smiling as he watched us while cooking chili for us all. That was John.
For those we love and cherish, no time is the right time. Neither of these brothers were young, but both their passings were out of the blue. Last Saturday during the Cleveland young people's meeting (this was before I found out Tom had passed), one of the young people suggested we each give one reason as to why we can bless the Lord. Most of them said because He carries them through hard times, is always there, loves them, etc. When it was my turn, I told them that I can bless the Lord because of the people he has put in my life. I didn't tell them this, but that includes those who sometimes rub me the wrong way. Because each and every person can affect you, move you, shape you in your Christian walk whether they themselves are saved or not. I hardly knew Tom and I knew John well. But both men were part of the Church. Both men had an affect on my life. Both finished the race. This is one of the best things about the Christian life. When we go to be with the Lord, for those of us left on the earth, this isn't good bye. It's see you soon.
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
The Joys of Fishing
I love the great outdoors, especially in the warmer weather. Which is also why summer can't get here soon enough. One of the many passions I have that pertains to being outdoors is fishing. I'll admit I'm not as hardcore as other fishermen. I won't fish in the freezing cold or winter (unless it's an ice fishing trip), I won't get up at the crack of dawn to get the early biters, and I generally won't fish in areas that lack action or make for very uncomfortable fishing. But aside from all that, fishing is wonderful.
An old English proverb goes "Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll eat for life." What joy do I get from it? The new lures ready for action and wanting to see how they do. Using lures that have served me well and hope they continue to do so. Being the hunter by taking a vast body of water and trying to find the lunkers. The adrenaline rush of a fish taking the bait and you have to idea what species it is or how big it actually is. The sight of the hooked fish flying out of the water or the violent strike of a hungry one as it nails the top water lure. Being out in nature, calm, quiet, peaceful.
Every other year we go to Wisconsin to visit family, but it could also be considered a week long fishing trip. One summer as I was on the lake, I could hear the loons calling in the distance. I'd see the occasional splash of a feeding fish. I had a monarch butterfly land on my leg. A family of American Bald Eagles flew overhead. All this while reeling in a two foot Northern Pike.
Some opposed to fishing claim it's cruel. Studies have been done and proven that fish do not have the neuro-psychological capacity to feel pain. That hook in their mouth, it more of an annoyance than anything else. And what about those who claim animals are not for eating? Genesis 9:1-2 says "The fear and dread of you will fall on all the beasts of the earth, and on all the birds in the sky, on every creature that moves along the ground, and on all the fish in the sea; they are given into your hands. Everything that lives and moves about will be food for you. Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything."
I haven't yet mastered this art, but I am in no way terrible either. However, this is not the only type of fishing I do. For all of us who believe in Jesus Christ, we also all are meant to be fishers. Not of fish, but of men. The Lord made all creation, including every single person who came before, who is, and who is yet to come. It is His desire that all men be saved. For many, they cannot enter into this gift unless they are "caught" by a fisher of men. "And He said to them, 'Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.'"~Matthew 4:19
Nowhere does the Bible say you have to be a master or even good at it. Because even a bad fisherman get's lucky. Just as the joy of catching a fish is great in a child's eyes, even greater is the joy for a person who repents of his sins and comes to Christ.
An old English proverb goes "Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll eat for life." What joy do I get from it? The new lures ready for action and wanting to see how they do. Using lures that have served me well and hope they continue to do so. Being the hunter by taking a vast body of water and trying to find the lunkers. The adrenaline rush of a fish taking the bait and you have to idea what species it is or how big it actually is. The sight of the hooked fish flying out of the water or the violent strike of a hungry one as it nails the top water lure. Being out in nature, calm, quiet, peaceful.
Every other year we go to Wisconsin to visit family, but it could also be considered a week long fishing trip. One summer as I was on the lake, I could hear the loons calling in the distance. I'd see the occasional splash of a feeding fish. I had a monarch butterfly land on my leg. A family of American Bald Eagles flew overhead. All this while reeling in a two foot Northern Pike.
Some opposed to fishing claim it's cruel. Studies have been done and proven that fish do not have the neuro-psychological capacity to feel pain. That hook in their mouth, it more of an annoyance than anything else. And what about those who claim animals are not for eating? Genesis 9:1-2 says "The fear and dread of you will fall on all the beasts of the earth, and on all the birds in the sky, on every creature that moves along the ground, and on all the fish in the sea; they are given into your hands. Everything that lives and moves about will be food for you. Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything."
I haven't yet mastered this art, but I am in no way terrible either. However, this is not the only type of fishing I do. For all of us who believe in Jesus Christ, we also all are meant to be fishers. Not of fish, but of men. The Lord made all creation, including every single person who came before, who is, and who is yet to come. It is His desire that all men be saved. For many, they cannot enter into this gift unless they are "caught" by a fisher of men. "And He said to them, 'Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.'"~Matthew 4:19
Nowhere does the Bible say you have to be a master or even good at it. Because even a bad fisherman get's lucky. Just as the joy of catching a fish is great in a child's eyes, even greater is the joy for a person who repents of his sins and comes to Christ.
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